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.. I never watched your show when it was women with dogs – but as soon as I heard you had a woman with a pig episode – I was there ... Then for the second pig episode, then the next one ... There’s just something about pigs that gets me all tingly!”“You really can’t wait, can you?” Asks Kimberly.Ellen shakes her head. “I applied for the show as soon as Petra’s edition was on, her with that pig, it changed my life ... Once she had done that, I knew how to get a pig in my life – and in my cunt ... All I had to do was apply to the United Kingdom o’ Zoo and wait for the call ... And that’s all I did ... And here I am...” She smiles a broad, little-old-lady smile.Kimberly checks her phone – looking at the maps app – and notes that, “Well, where we are is still about 40 miles north of the border ... And where we need to be is about 300 miles south of it ... So it’s still a long, long, way to go before you get to live out your dream ... How about we use the magic of television to get there a. I decided to call Melanie. I still needed to talk to her, and I’d pick her brain for advice.Melanie asked about Becky and I told her that we had broken up.“So, did you give her the goodbye fuck?”“No. I gave her six goodbye fucks.”“You didn’t!”“Who are we talking about here, Melanie?” I chuckled.“Wow. Before or after you guys broke up?”“After. No way I would have done it before. And if we were staying together, I wouldn’t have done it. For the same reason, I’ve put Jennifer off.”“You know Jennifer is going to expect a good fucking now, right?”“Yes. And I told her we still had a lot to talk about. I talked to Becky for hours before we broke up. It was after we finished talking that we went at it.”“So then you’ll do what she wants?”“Yes, Melanie. After we talk. And before you ask, I told her if she wants a threesome with you, she can have it.”Melanie burst out laughing.“Oh Steve, you may not survive!”“I’ll take my chances. Becky already tried to kill me with sex.”“Yeah, but there’s two.
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